Moving On
by AlecTheUnicorn
Summary: "They had won. But Jace. Jace had lost." Clary is dead and Jace is trying to convince himself to move on. Well, sort of.


"_I suppose a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last." ~Allegiant_

~o.O.o~

Jace doesn't know how he didn't realize it before. Life—it's beautiful. Too short, ending so abruptly, like a flame suddenly puttering out. _Clary. _Her name is a memory now, a ghost of a girl who's never coming back.

Jace clenches his fists. _Never coming back. _And he's panicking now, because how can he live without Clary? She lies on the ground, motionless, green eyes staring sightlessly upward. Jace crawls over to her, desperately, like he is dying of thirst and she is water. He cups her chin in his hand, and a single lock of red hair falls over her face, bright in the darkness.

"Clary," he whispers. His voice is thin and sounds like it's coming from the other end of a long tunnel. "Clary, _please_. You're strong, I know you are…" He tapers off, knowing that however much he begs, however much he pleads, she is gone.

Someone is screaming. Screaming and screaming, one long, unbroken sound that's so full of grief and pain Jace claps his hands over his ears to block it out. It's not until later he realized it was him.

The battlefield is littered with dead bodies, and Clary's is one of the many. Sebastian is out there somewhere, too. The Shadowhunters had won—_they _had won. But Jace.

Jace had lost.

He remembers Isabelle sobbing and Jocelyn shrieking and Magnus looking on the scene solemnly, cat eyes glistening. Jace had sunk to his knees, unable to support his own weight, and she can't be dead she can't be dead she can't be—

Magnus confirms she's dead.

Jace is slammed beck into the present. Memories hurt. He wants to forget, if just for a while. He looks down at the girl he loves, and knows he's not going to move on from this, _ever, _if he doesn't stand up and walk away. Right now.

He lies down next to Clary. Maybe he'll die, too, if he's lucky. He closes his eyes. He'll wait. He longs for her. One last kiss, one last moment with her. She knew him better than anyone—and he knew her... better than anyone...

Jace's eyes fly open.

He knows what she would say right now, if she could see him, waiting to die. He feels sick.

He was dead once, but what yanked back out of the shadows on Clary's demand. How did she act when she thought he, Jace, was dead? _It doesn't matter, _he thinks. _There's no angel to bring her back. _

He sits up, and a cloud of dust and soot drift down off of him like snow. Who is he kidding, he knows what she was doing when _he _was the one who was dead—and it sure as hell wasn't lying down next to him and waiting to die. She is strong. She _was._

What does this mean, then? Is he supposed to move on? He stares down at her, and he can almost her exasperated sigh. _Yes, you idiot! Be happy. It's all I want._

Jace's heartbeat is loud in his ears as he stands up. He grants himself one last look at Clary. Her eyes are wide staring up at him with faint amusement. Swallowing, he crouches down and closes them, emerald eyes that will never open again.

"Okay," he says aloud. "That is _it _for depressing thoughts."

He loves her. He loves her, and that is why he has to walk away. He'll be with her, someday, but for now he's going to live enough for the both of them.

The battlefield is a labyrinth of corpses, and Jace is stepping over and around dead bodies, feeling his stomach lurch. Once in a while, he sees someone he knew.

He stumbles through the little clearing of trees and out onto the streets of Idris, bright with the white glow of witchlight lamps.

Toward the main part of the city he sees fireworks—explosions of green and red and gold that set the city alight in an eerie glow. Jace can't believe they're celebrating.

"Hey," says a soft voice. Isabelle. "Are you okay?"

He just looks at her.

"That," she says. "Was a stupid question. I'm sorry, Jace. For everything." She takes a shaky breath and looks like she's about to continue. She's trying to make him feel better, but all he can think about is how _he really doesn't want to hear this. _

_"_It isn't your fault," he says flatly.

"And it isn't yours, okay?" Izzy shakes her head, her hair whipping around her face. "She would have wanted you to be happy. She also would _not _have wanted you to blame yourself."

"I gave myself this talk already."

"You're getting it again," Izzy mutters, tears beginning to pool in her eyes. "Jace. You know there are a whole bunch of people who love you, right? Me, Alec, Mom, Dad... like a million girls." Dammit. Izzy can always coax a laugh out of him.

"And it would kill us," Izzy continues. "If you were to... I don't know. Waste away. Give into your grief. Do whatever your planning on doing to cope. The way I see it is, you can be sad she's gone, or really glad she came into your life at all."

"Isn't that a Dr. Seuss quote? I swear I've heard that before."

"Jace Lightwood! Be _serious!" _Izzy screams, and the sound in the otherwise quiet night is surprising. The fireworks have stopped. "I know what your doing! You just don't want to face the truth, and you want to hide in your... little bubble of sarcastic comments. Well, _wake up. _She's gone, Jace. She's _gone. _And you've got to accept that and move on!" Izzy is breathing heavily. Jace just stares at her, his jaw slowly dropping. "It's hard for me, too. I mean, she was probably the best girl friend I've ever had, but I won't pretend I know what you're going through. I know you love her, but you love me too, right? So for me, move on. Oh, goddammit, please don't cry," she said, looking at Jace with a mixture of pity and love and respect.

Jace reaches up to touch his face. "I'm not—oh, shit." His voice cracks. "I miss her, Izzy. I want her _back._"

"I know," Izzy says simply.

"Izzy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Izzy smiles, weak and watery. "Sorry for what?"

"The usual. Being an asshole when you were trying to help," Jace murmurs, not looking at her.

"That's okay. Sorry I screamed at you. I shouldn't have."

Jace shrugs. "Do you know where Alec is?"

"Not a clue. Come on, let's find him," Izzy says flinging her arm around his shoulder. He wraps his arm around her, and they walk away towards the heart of the Glass City.

* * *

The fireworks turn the night clouds into strange colors.

Because, gazing from the face of the moon, there appears to be two green eyes, watching the siblings walk away.

And one would swear they were smiling.

* * *

**Well...That's that. Right! The Mortal Instruments belong to Cassandra Clare. This is my first fanfiction, sooooooo you most definitely have permission to review and critique me. I know this was all over the place, so seriously, people, give me suggestions because I do want to become a better writer :) Oh, and that quote at the top is Allegiant, which belongs to Veronica Roth. I don't know, it seemed to fit my story.**


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